“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'” Romans 9:20
Have you ever asked God this question? Why do I look this way, why am I shy, why do I have such a hard time with math, why am I weak, slow, tall, brown, blind? Why did He make me like this?
I know in my life, it often seems like the individual struggles I experience are a result of character ‘flaws’ I was born with. It’s not like I chose the way I look or the individual characteristics that form my personality. But, here I am, tall and awkward and a bit too energetic and zealous for my own good. I wish I wasn’t so tall, I wish I was smarter and had more patience, I wish I was more like the kind of people God could use…
Like Peter… an illiterate fisherman with more passion than common sense, or Paul a brilliant theologian who couldn’t see the forest for the trees, or perhaps King David, the youngest son and shepherd and adulterer. I often have to remind myself that God doesn’t make junk, He makes each of us exactly as He intended with all our rough edges and soft morals. He has a plan for each of us, that includes those ‘flaws’ that we all too often focus on. In fact, it’s our flaws that allow Him to be glorified. Because if we were perfect, How could God take credit for all that He accomplishes through us?
I have to laugh a little, to think that God made me the way that I am. I’m not sure why He made me with two left feet, how does being clumsy accomplish His purpose? I’m not sure I’m any more effective at 5′ 10″ than I would have been at 5’8″? Or perhaps I could be more effective or useful if I were perhaps more athletic or a better student? However, He does use me, just as I am. Through my imperfections God’s perfection is made apparent. He chooses to use the least, lost and most unlikely to fulfill His purpose.
God uses the imperfect to demonstrate His Sovereignty, His Perfection. He designed me to fulfill a role in His plan and that role included all of my ‘flaws’ those areas in my life where God could demonstrate who He is through me. I may not be the bravest but He has given me the strength to endure hardships like the death of my husband and my oldest daughter thus enabling me to speak in to the lives of others who are hurting. I am not the smartest however, God has shown me great favor through incredible opportunities and people who have helped me to learn and grow professionally allowing me to do the same for others.
I have been beaten, and abused. I have been told over and over everything that is wrong with me, why I can’t succeed, how I’ll never amount to much. Well, God’s plan’s are bigger, way bigger than other peoples expectations and assumptions. He can use ANYONE and when I say anyone, I actually mean anyone. He also has a soft spot for the lost and the broken. He love the opportunity to showcase His love and grace and mercy to those who feel they least deserve it, raising them up for the world to see Him!
It has taken me the better part of 4 decades to like what I see in the mirror. I don’t really mean my image, although that too. I mean who I am…who He created me to be, an imperfect work in progress, perfectly designed to fill a role specifically created for me.
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