Category Archives: gossip

Hands and Feet

selfless-11-638I was driving to work this morning, on the rare occasion that I was not making multiple school drop stops. I was thinking through my day, and planning some upcoming events, praying and asking God for guidance and discernment. I pulled into my office parking lot about an hour earlier than normal and I got out of my car. To my surprise there was someone wrapped up in a sleeping bag lying on the sidewalk, blocking the door.

Complete transparency, I did not react the way I would have liked. My thoughts were uh oh, what now? They could be dangerous, they could be mean, they could yell at me if I disturb them…I could go around to the other door? Wait, I have to run to the store because I need to get flowers for one of my staff for their birthday. Ok God, I’ll go to the store and if they are still there when I get back, I’ll talk to them and see how I can help.

I went to the store, got the card and the flowers and returned to the office…yup they were still there. OK God, I’ll walk around to the other door and put all my stuff in my office, and come back down. If they are still there I’ll talk to them and see how I can help.

I went to my office and put my things down, and plugged in my computer. I grabbed my phone and my keys and walked down the stairs to the door…yup they were still there. OK God, I get it.

Trying to open the door, there was dead weight. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. I panicked, what if they were hurt, or sick or dead. “Excuse me, are you OK?” I Pushed the door a little more, “are you OK?” A man sat up, and began to apologize for being there.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep that long, I’m so sorry it was just so cold last night.” He sat up and began to put on his shoes and continued to apologize. I noticed he didn’t have any socks as he put his shoes on. “Really I’m so sorry I’ll move, I was robbed and I have a job but they took my cell phone, I’m so sorry, really, I’ll go.”

I was so wrecked! “Please don’t be sorry, come inside and get warm the building is now open.”

“Really, thank you, my name is Tony.” He reached up his hand to shake mine, I took it.

Tony is down on his luck, he’d had a rough night and was cold. He just wanted to be warm and my response was fear, excuses and procrastination. I took a few minutes to talk with Tony, who was from Tucson and was coming home from California after his job had ended. He told me that each day since he got back things kept getting worse, the culmination was the previous day when he was robbed, loosing his lifeline to his job when his phone was taken. He was sober, articulate, appreciative and polite. After giving him some food, hot coffee and some money. He went on his way, to his job.

I’m not making any claims to the truth or validity of his story, but to mine. I was praying in the car for discernment on what youth curriculum to use, my parent’s upcoming anniversary party and whether to spend money on a new or used drum set for my son.

Tony slept in the cold, on the sidewalk out in the open, and had no socks. My response was not Jesus’, it was the worlds. As I began writing this, a Micah Tyler song came on. He sings:

“I want to be different,I want to be changed,till all of me is gone and all that remains is a fire so bright the whole can see, that there’s something different, so come and be different in me.”

How can we claim to be God’s hands and feet if we’re too afraid to step out of our own comfort zone?  We pray for God to give us opportunities to reach people, to help in tangible ways, then when it happens we come up with every excuse.

God wouldn’t want me to do something dangerous. Didn’t God send Ananias to Saul, the self proclaimed destroyer of Jesus Disciples? (Acts 9:10-19)?

God wouldn’t ask me to jeopardize my standing at work. God was clear that all we do we should work as if for him not men. (Colossians 3:23)

God wanted me to meet Tony, to help him, but more than that to show me…yet again…that His will, His good and perfect will  will never fall short of His glory. God loves all people, and not in an out there, for other people to act on, kind of way. Each and every person is precious to Him, so each and every person MUST be precious to us.

Regardless of what they’ve done, NO ONE is unredeemable! We are Jesus to this world, to every person we meet, it doesn’t matter if we like them or not, if they are rich, poor, clean, dirty, sick, healthy, young or old. That is who we are called to be, period!

The wold is full of Tony’s, full of people who need what we have, it’s time we shared with everyone.

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Things we should say and don’t…things we shouldn’t say but do.

2597e13ae8beb05daa2348bff8123428.jpgA grade school teacher sent a note home to all parents on the first day of school. It read:
“If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.”

~Ken Crockett

 

All too often we tend to leave the things that should be said…unsaid and proclaim for all to hear those things that are probably best left unsaid.

What we should say, but don’t:

  • “Weren’t you hungry?” “Yes why?” “Because you left half of your salad in your teeth.”
  • Is that toilet paper on your shoe or are you giving your heels a train?
  • No that dress doesn’t make you look fat, it doesn’t make you look thin either.
  • Yes you really do sound like that on the phone, but only sometimes in person.
  • Were you singing off key? Well, I don’t know, I guess it depends on what key you were aiming for?

Why is it so difficult for us to be honest with one another? We are so afraid of hurting someones feelings, offending someone or creating some kind of scene, that we allow our sisters to walk around with food in their teeth, wearing unflattering dresses with toilet paper stuck to their shoes while climbing into the choir loft. We feel more comfortable with hiding the truth, ignoring the truth or lying about the truth then we do speaking the truth.

In Ephesians 4:14-16 Paul begins to touch on how we are supposed to speak to one another, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

How many of you have a best friend? The one person, above all others, here on earth, that you trust with your life, your children, your deepest darkest secrets? The one person you can be completely yourself with and you don’t have to pretend with. They will tell you when you have lettuce in your teeth, if your singing off key and if the dress makes you…well not look thin?

If you have been blessed with someone like that you are indeed lucky. Cherish that person for that kind of love is worth more than gold. The truth be told, that is how it should be with all our sisters in Christ (yes and brothers too but today it’s about us ladies, sorry guys). My best friend would have not problem telling me when I’m being stupid (and has on more than one occasion) and I’ll listen to her, because she has shown me love and acceptance for decades.

That is where it all begins, Val and I have made intentional, emotional deposits into each others lives for decades. In our culture today, it’s rare that we have time, or make time to have more than a 5 minute conversation; followed by texts, emails, Facebook tags, Instagram picts and Snapchat memes. We think that’s enough to form a strong lasting relationship, then we wonder why, when times get tough, no one is there to answer the phone?

I have had the unhappy experience of seeing first hand what harsh words spoken in haste can do. How swift judgments and unsolicited ‘prayer requests’ can lead to devastating consequences for those both involved and included.

James gives us a very descriptive image of the damage an unbridled tongue (gossip) can do. (James 3)  However, I feel Ephesians gives the best example of why we should be more careful not only of what we say and say it too, but also of who we listen too.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. Ephesians 4:29-32

If we were to focus on just two things from this passage, “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs”, and “forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I believe the words that come out of our mouths would be very different.

If we spent more time building each other up and making positive emotional investments into each others lives, then speaking the truth in love would not only be easier, it would also be received with the same love and honor it was given. Imagine what our conversations would be like then, our relationships? Wow!

“To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” Titus 3:2

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