Tag Archives: prayer

Can’t earn it…don’t deserve it.

if god is for usSitting face down on my bed praying, crying really, someone said something to someone else, gossip starts which creates distractions, hurt feelings and damaged relationships. I’m not sure how the snowball got formed or who pushed it down the snow covered hillside, but by the time it slammed into me it was a hard, cold, dirty and painful.

As I placed my head in my folded hands and cried, I wanted so desperately to cry out to God, intercede! I wanted to be bold like David before the throne and cry out to the Lord God of the universe to fight my battle, to carry His standard before me.

“I come to you, Lord, for protection; never let me be defeated. You are a righteous God; save me, I pray! Hear me! Save me now! Be my refuge to protect me; my defense to save me. You are my refuge and defense; guide me and lead me as you have promised. Keep me safe from the trap that has been set for me; shelter me from danger. I place myself in your care. You will save me, Lord; you are a faithful God.” Psalm 31:1-5

I wanted so much to cry out for the Lord to fight this battle and defend me, but I felt unworthy. I sat there with my face to the floor wanting to cry out for my Father’s help and couldn’t because I know I’m not perfect. I wanted to go to my Father and show Him I was bleeding and ask for His help, but I was afraid because I was dirty.

Does any of this sound familiar? This was one of those moment where God truly spoke to me. David wasn’t perfect, neither was Paul, neither was Peter. He doesn’t call people because they are perfect, actually they are usually very very imperfect. In that moment the God of the universe showed me that His love, His protection, His defense was not dependent on my perfection, or even on my being worthy. It is only dependent on His love.

Let that sink in a moment… how often have we not gone to God because we feel we are unworthy?

There is a song on the radio right now by Cory Ashbury, Reckless Love, and it says:

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me

He fights for us, He chases us, there is no distance, no pain, no sin, no obstacle to big (or too small) that He can’t – won’t overcome to get to us. Hear me dear ones, there is NOTHING that can separate you, make Him love you less (or more). We all need to step out with the boldness of David and claim the amazing grace God has given to each of us. There is nothing out there that can separate you from Him.

I cried harder at the realization of the depth of God’s love for me, than I did at the pain that this situation caused. He stands between me and trouble, He defends my right and left side, He goes before me and protects behind me. The only part I play in this relationship is to keep my eyes and heart on Him, and follow. He will guide my steps and lead me in the way of righteousness.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

School House Rock, still rockin’ my world

immigrationA couple of weeks ago we attended my youngest son’s school play. They did a rendition of School House Rock where a new teacher was having some serious conversations about whether or not he could cut it as a teacher. Throughout the program the School House Rock songs were used to illustrate how much this teacher really knew and build up his confidence to start his first day. It was a wonderful production and my synopsis doesn’t really do it justice. However, one of the songs they played, truly brought a tear to my eye, not just because of the childhood memory it invoked, but because of how far we have fallen away from the very concept. To see a group of almost 100- 3rd graders from incredibly diverse cultural backgrounds holding hands, and singing The Great American Melting Pot, filled me with joy and sadness at the same time.

I don’t think I realized at that moment, how much the moment affected me until this morning. The drive to get three of my kiddos to their various schools each morning takes me about an hour. During the second half of that drive, we travel through an economically depressed neighborhood. The street is lined with mobile home parks, and at the time of the morning we drive through, it is also lined with children walking to school. There are children from Somali families taking refuge here, there are Hispanic, African and Dominican children walking to school in large groups; the older children keeping an eye on the younger children. Many of the parents are walking with them.

What struck me this morning were the smiling faces not just of the children but of the adults as well. Many of them wearing yellow crossing guard vests as they man the street corners where children will cross to get to school. They smile and wave as many of the cars pass by. Then there are those who take this street as it’s a cross between to major roadways. They are booking it down the road, way over the speed limit in their high end cars. They don’t like the crossing guards, they don’t like the school speed limit signs, they like to slam on their breaks and honk their horns…schools crossings are an inconvenience to their very busy and very important lives.

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10

I think that we’ve forgotten, that unless you are a full blood native american, you too probably come from a refugee family. Somewhere in your background either distant or recent, someone came to The Great American Melting Pot to start a new life, for a better chance for your children, to escape tyranny and oppression, there are so many reasons why. When did we become so much more important, more valuable and more entitled than everyone else?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

This morning broke my heart! I felt nothing but love for the incredible people living in this city who, to some, are nothing more than a commute slowing bother. I applaud the courage it took to leave behind everything they knew, to start over, and work for something better for themselves, and their families. I am so grateful to be an American, my family came here, some on the Mayflower, to start a new life and to build something great, to be a better example for the world. Sometimes, I think we need a reminder of that. I’m a French, German, English, Irish and Native American Indian, American and I am so proud of that.

Christ called us to be disciples of ALL nations, not when it’s convenient, not when it’s safe, not when they look like us; ALL nations. How can we possibly be the people we are called to be if we are just rushing by at 55 mph in our cars with tinted windows, wearing our dark sunglasses, not making eye contact?

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

As I write this, I am praying that it will be received in the spirit with which it was written. It is written in love, for everyone, love takes time, intent and compassion. Please, don’t lose sight of who we are called to be.

 

Peace Killers – Fear

1934830_1246284886013_4974586_nWe have a biological response to fear. God created us that way to help us respond in dangerous situations, it’s our ‘fight or flight’ response. In times of danger our body has two natural responses; to fight or to flee. These are there to help protect us. They are almost immediate responses to impending situations. This response is good, it is there to keep us and those around us safe. However, fear can take on a life all its own if left unchecked. When fear of every unknown outcome, or unexpected turn of events becomes our norm, fear becomes another peace killer.

Fear is defined as, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” As we all know and most have experience, fear is exhausting. The fight or flight response that we have increases our heart rate, the flow of blood to our brain and increases adrenaline in your system to help you cope with what is happening. Our bodies are not meant to live in this extreme state for long periods of time. This response helps us deal with or escape from the current impending situation. However, stay there too long and things begin to fall apart.

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

My oldest daughter Alex was 3 days old when she was diagnosed with a terminal liver disorder, I was told she would not live to see her first birthday. She received a liver transplant when she was 6 years old to cure her of this disorder, first one ever to be cured. When she was 11 she was diagnosed with post-transplant lymphoprolific disorder (lymphoma) which she lost her battle with 2 years later, after receiving a stem cell transplant.

I lived in a state of fear. Fear of Alex not waking up, fear of doing something wrong that would cause her more issues, fear of being a bad mom, daughter, friend, wife. The phone ringing late at night would startle me awake so badly that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I lived in a constant state of fear, and most of the time I couldn’t even tell you what I was afraid of.

When I read the 23 Psalm, I can say that those years, especially toward the end, i walked through the darkest valley any parent could imagine. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:1-5

When I look back at that time now, I can honestly say that without the Grace of God I would not have survived. Living in fear not only kills your peace…destroys it, it also damages your health, your state of mind, your focus, your career, your family, your relationships. I think one of the hardest things for a Christian to live out is not living in fear when your life feels out of control. That it’s in those times of deepest despair that we need to cast all our hope, all our cares, all our tears, all our everything on God and TRUST that He will handle it.

It really is like jumping off a cliff. I remember a scene from an Indiana Jones movie (confession: I love those movies). The scene where Indiana is rushing to get the holy grail to have his father who has been mortally shot by the Nazis. The must make a leap of faith. All he sees is the great chasm below him, and in order to save his dad he has to take the step. Into nothingness, into certain death…well if you haven’t seen the movie, he takes the step, only to discover there is a very cleverly disguised natural stone bridge constructed to look just like the chasm floor.

In those times of fear when we don’t seem to have hope, we are asked to take the step. To throw all our cares into the chasm, our very lives at times, and to believe that the bridge is there not only to catch us but to lead us to safety.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I would love to hear from you, your comments and thoughts. Please take a minute to follow me and share with your friends. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Peace Killers – Stress

47718-matthew-11-28.500w.tnI think we’ve all heard the stories of adrenaline empowered individuals who in situations of extreme stress are able to perform feats of superhuman strength and endurance without hesitation. Or those people who, for whatever reason, are able to remain calm and clear headed in situations when everyone else around them are loosing their cool? We wonder, how are they able to do that? I believe that our Sovereign God designed us that way; each individually with abilities that He would use at some point in our life. The Glory is all His.

Then there are those times, which we’ve all experienced, when the pressure of a certain situation or circumstance seems to be like the gravitational force of a rocket ship speeding toward space, we feel as though we’ll be crushed by the pressure.

The dictionary defines stress as, “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” It is often in these times that we lose sleep, don’t eat, overeat, drink, smoke, or partake in any number of unhealthy habits that in effect make the situation worse.

Stress is a peace killer. It can effectively take our eye off the prize and cause us to have acute tunnel vision. Everything is exacerbated when we are stressed, people seem meaner, the world colder, our finances more dire, our relationships more dysfunctional and our outlook, well ridiculously hind-sighted.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Spoiler alert #1…God doesn’t want you to be stressed.

He does allow you to walk thorough stressful situations, so that you might rely more on Him. So that you will look to Him for strength and guidance. God wants to refine and perfect you, so that you can be more like Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Let me be clear, I’m not saying that the situations of stress that you find yourself in are caused by God, they are not. However, we do know that our Sovereign God can, does and will continue to work through those situations to perfect us for the work He has for us to do.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

Stress has become more and more of a hot topic lately. It’s the great conundrum of our society. Work more, be more, have more. We create stress with our endless and unquenchable need for more; more money, more fame or recognition, more authority, more power and more stuff. Here’s spoiler alert #2…none of these things once achieved will bring you peace, joy or happiness. Yet we work longer hours each day, longer weeks and pride ourselves on taking less vacation. While citizens from other countries enjoy longer lives, report more fulfilling relationships and are by in large healthier.

Research has shown us that stress is bad for your brain, your heart, your respiratory system. It can cause you to get a rash, lose sleep, impair your immune system and the list goes on. Final spoiler alert…does that sound like something our loving God wants for us?

Satan wants us over worked, unsatisfied and sick. His main goal in life is to take out as many people as he can, and we have given him the perfect weapon. (note emphasis on given)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Stress does not have to rob your sleep, steal your peace and hinder your health. Cast your burdens on Christ and He will carry them, He will give you peace and rest. When you find yourself tossing and turning at night, with your mind racing, and unable to sleep; open your bible, listen to Godly music and pray.

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:13-14

God is the keeper of the peace that passes all understanding, ask Him to show that to you, and He will answer.

I would love to hear from you, your comments and thoughts. Please take a minute to follow me and share with your friends. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

Hands and Feet

selfless-11-638I was driving to work this morning, on the rare occasion that I was not making multiple school drop stops. I was thinking through my day, and planning some upcoming events, praying and asking God for guidance and discernment. I pulled into my office parking lot about an hour earlier than normal and I got out of my car. To my surprise there was someone wrapped up in a sleeping bag lying on the sidewalk, blocking the door.

Complete transparency, I did not react the way I would have liked. My thoughts were uh oh, what now? They could be dangerous, they could be mean, they could yell at me if I disturb them…I could go around to the other door? Wait, I have to run to the store because I need to get flowers for one of my staff for their birthday. Ok God, I’ll go to the store and if they are still there when I get back, I’ll talk to them and see how I can help.

I went to the store, got the card and the flowers and returned to the office…yup they were still there. OK God, I’ll walk around to the other door and put all my stuff in my office, and come back down. If they are still there I’ll talk to them and see how I can help.

I went to my office and put my things down, and plugged in my computer. I grabbed my phone and my keys and walked down the stairs to the door…yup they were still there. OK God, I get it.

Trying to open the door, there was dead weight. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. I panicked, what if they were hurt, or sick or dead. “Excuse me, are you OK?” I Pushed the door a little more, “are you OK?” A man sat up, and began to apologize for being there.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep that long, I’m so sorry it was just so cold last night.” He sat up and began to put on his shoes and continued to apologize. I noticed he didn’t have any socks as he put his shoes on. “Really I’m so sorry I’ll move, I was robbed and I have a job but they took my cell phone, I’m so sorry, really, I’ll go.”

I was so wrecked! “Please don’t be sorry, come inside and get warm the building is now open.”

“Really, thank you, my name is Tony.” He reached up his hand to shake mine, I took it.

Tony is down on his luck, he’d had a rough night and was cold. He just wanted to be warm and my response was fear, excuses and procrastination. I took a few minutes to talk with Tony, who was from Tucson and was coming home from California after his job had ended. He told me that each day since he got back things kept getting worse, the culmination was the previous day when he was robbed, loosing his lifeline to his job when his phone was taken. He was sober, articulate, appreciative and polite. After giving him some food, hot coffee and some money. He went on his way, to his job.

I’m not making any claims to the truth or validity of his story, but to mine. I was praying in the car for discernment on what youth curriculum to use, my parent’s upcoming anniversary party and whether to spend money on a new or used drum set for my son.

Tony slept in the cold, on the sidewalk out in the open, and had no socks. My response was not Jesus’, it was the worlds. As I began writing this, a Micah Tyler song came on. He sings:

“I want to be different,I want to be changed,till all of me is gone and all that remains is a fire so bright the whole can see, that there’s something different, so come and be different in me.”

How can we claim to be God’s hands and feet if we’re too afraid to step out of our own comfort zone?  We pray for God to give us opportunities to reach people, to help in tangible ways, then when it happens we come up with every excuse.

God wouldn’t want me to do something dangerous. Didn’t God send Ananias to Saul, the self proclaimed destroyer of Jesus Disciples? (Acts 9:10-19)?

God wouldn’t ask me to jeopardize my standing at work. God was clear that all we do we should work as if for him not men. (Colossians 3:23)

God wanted me to meet Tony, to help him, but more than that to show me…yet again…that His will, His good and perfect will  will never fall short of His glory. God loves all people, and not in an out there, for other people to act on, kind of way. Each and every person is precious to Him, so each and every person MUST be precious to us.

Regardless of what they’ve done, NO ONE is unredeemable! We are Jesus to this world, to every person we meet, it doesn’t matter if we like them or not, if they are rich, poor, clean, dirty, sick, healthy, young or old. That is who we are called to be, period!

The wold is full of Tony’s, full of people who need what we have, it’s time we shared with everyone.

I would love to hear from you, your comments and thoughts. Please take a minute to follow me and share with your friends. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Close your mouth and open your heart

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Vector illustration. three monkeysWhen I was a child, I liked to talk. To say that I liked the sound of my own voice would not be an exaggeration. My dad likened my verbosity to a torn pocket flapping in the breeze…and it was always flapping.

My mother would be trying to tell me something and I’m chatting away as if the only person in the room worth listening to was me. She would raise her voice to get my attention and tell me, “Elizabeth Rita, close your mouth and open your ears!”

I am happy to report that after 40+ years, I have learned to close my mouth and open my ears. Through the often loving and sometimes stern coaching of many a mentor, I have become a much better listener. I have come to really enjoy listening to people, their stories, their struggles, their lives. I love helping people connect to their purpose, to each other and to their calling. You can’t do that without listening, but you have to do it with more than your ears.

Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:15-16

Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Jesus didn’t make a move, a decision without consulting with His Father. They were one, of the same mind and heart because they were in constant communication. And not just casual, ‘”hey how ya doin”, conversation but real in-depth, relational conversation.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone. Matthew 14:22-23

It is when we are in real communication with The Father that we best hear His voice, share His heart. It is very difficult to do that in the midst of the hustle and bustle of our daily routines. We need to be intentional about our time with God, asking the Holy Spirit to help calm our hearts and minds to hear His still small voice.  If we aren’t making time to spend with Him how can we have a relationship?

How did your best friend become your best friend? Was it through quick 5 minute conversations between meetings or getting the kids out the door? No, it was through spending long hours of intimate conversation and shared experiences, growing together over time.

My best friend and I have known each other since we were 16 years old. We can finish each other sentences, our kids are friends, we vacation together. Did I mention over the long years of our relationship, we only lived in the same state for 2 years. We made our relationship a priority, we were intentional with our communication. Now 30 years later I can pick up the phone and have a conversation with her as if we lived next door and no time  had passed.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

If we make time for our family and friends, can’t we make time for God? I know it seems like a simple statement, however in application it’s not easy. We need to be willing to MAKE time for Him, real time, in a place where we can quiet our hearts and minds to focus on Him. Not so easy in today’s world. I am married (17 years), we have 4 children, I work full time at my day job and part-time at my church. MAKING time to be with Jesus can prove challenging in my schedule.

One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. Luke 6:12

I am a morning person, I love getting up early and starting my day before the rest of the house is awake. This summer I challenged myself to give my first morning hour to God. I get up, go outside and sit in my backyard reading my Bible and praying. I can’t begin to tell you the difference it makes in my day. So much so that when I don’t make that time for God each day, it is so evident. I can feel it in my heart, thoughts and actions. Giving that time to God to build my relationship with Him, getting to know His Son Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit has made a tremendous difference.

Now when I listen to the words of others I am listening with my heart, His heart and speaking with His words though the power of the Holy Spirit. This is only possible as we make time to be with God each day, closing out mouths and listening with our hearts.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

 

He is doing a new thing

14350745_1796022327305562_819817710_n (1)“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Over the past 12 months so much has happened, it’s difficult not to take a minute to reminisce. I’m not one for grandiose new year’s resolutions however I am a strong believer in new beginnings. Each new day, each moment can be a new beginning.  Christ’s birth was the beginning of human redemption, a new beginning for everyone.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” 1 Peter 1:3

This year has brought growth, and restoration, it has brought blessings and challenges (also blessings but messier); through it all God has remained Sovereign! I am constantly reminded that through it all (and I mean ALL) God is, and will always be sovereign, His hand is on everything and in everything.

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.” 1 Chronicles 29:11-12

It seems natural on January 1st that we look ahead; what will this next year hold for us, what will we do differently, what will define who we are, who we want to be, how will we grow? I have been thinking over the past several weeks what this year will mean for me and my family. The one word that continues to come to my heart is simplicity.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-15

This year I start back to school to complete my Theological studies after an almost 15 year hiatus. I continue in my role on staff at Tucson Central Church working alongside God’s people in obedience and expectation of the amazing things He will accomplish, humbled that I get to be part of it.

If I have any words of encouragement to offer it is this, you are not alone. The sovereign God of the universe is deeply in love with you. He cares about the large and small things in your life, in fact there is nothing too large or to small to escape His notice or his attention. There is nothing you are going through now or that you may go through in the future that He can not handle, if you let Him.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Challenges come in many forms, none of which are unique, all of which have been experienced before. I don’t say that to in any way minimize your struggles, but to give you hope in the knowledge that you are not alone, that you can find comfort in knowing that whatever challenge you are facing, they have been faced and overcome through God’s faithfulness.

My challenge to you, to all of us, is to lean on God’s promises more than ever before. If we did that one thing, simply put God first, then all else will fall into place, His place, which is far better than anything we could do on our own.

I would love to hear from you, your comments and thoughts. Please take a minute to follow me and share with your friends. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Things we should say and don’t…things we shouldn’t say but do.

2597e13ae8beb05daa2348bff8123428.jpgA grade school teacher sent a note home to all parents on the first day of school. It read:
“If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.”

~Ken Crockett

 

All too often we tend to leave the things that should be said…unsaid and proclaim for all to hear those things that are probably best left unsaid.

What we should say, but don’t:

  • “Weren’t you hungry?” “Yes why?” “Because you left half of your salad in your teeth.”
  • Is that toilet paper on your shoe or are you giving your heels a train?
  • No that dress doesn’t make you look fat, it doesn’t make you look thin either.
  • Yes you really do sound like that on the phone, but only sometimes in person.
  • Were you singing off key? Well, I don’t know, I guess it depends on what key you were aiming for?

Why is it so difficult for us to be honest with one another? We are so afraid of hurting someones feelings, offending someone or creating some kind of scene, that we allow our sisters to walk around with food in their teeth, wearing unflattering dresses with toilet paper stuck to their shoes while climbing into the choir loft. We feel more comfortable with hiding the truth, ignoring the truth or lying about the truth then we do speaking the truth.

In Ephesians 4:14-16 Paul begins to touch on how we are supposed to speak to one another, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

How many of you have a best friend? The one person, above all others, here on earth, that you trust with your life, your children, your deepest darkest secrets? The one person you can be completely yourself with and you don’t have to pretend with. They will tell you when you have lettuce in your teeth, if your singing off key and if the dress makes you…well not look thin?

If you have been blessed with someone like that you are indeed lucky. Cherish that person for that kind of love is worth more than gold. The truth be told, that is how it should be with all our sisters in Christ (yes and brothers too but today it’s about us ladies, sorry guys). My best friend would have not problem telling me when I’m being stupid (and has on more than one occasion) and I’ll listen to her, because she has shown me love and acceptance for decades.

That is where it all begins, Val and I have made intentional, emotional deposits into each others lives for decades. In our culture today, it’s rare that we have time, or make time to have more than a 5 minute conversation; followed by texts, emails, Facebook tags, Instagram picts and Snapchat memes. We think that’s enough to form a strong lasting relationship, then we wonder why, when times get tough, no one is there to answer the phone?

I have had the unhappy experience of seeing first hand what harsh words spoken in haste can do. How swift judgments and unsolicited ‘prayer requests’ can lead to devastating consequences for those both involved and included.

James gives us a very descriptive image of the damage an unbridled tongue (gossip) can do. (James 3)  However, I feel Ephesians gives the best example of why we should be more careful not only of what we say and say it too, but also of who we listen too.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. Ephesians 4:29-32

If we were to focus on just two things from this passage, “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs”, and “forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I believe the words that come out of our mouths would be very different.

If we spent more time building each other up and making positive emotional investments into each others lives, then speaking the truth in love would not only be easier, it would also be received with the same love and honor it was given. Imagine what our conversations would be like then, our relationships? Wow!

“To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” Titus 3:2

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

Why?

Why

Over the past few weeks I have been joining a group of friends praying for one of their relatives. A young woman, who through extenuating circumstances was in an unrecoverable state, comatose, on life support and declared brain dead. I joined the saints praying for her, for her family and preparing for the inevitable. Although I did not know her personally, I do know her family, and having been in a similar situation where I had to make the decision for my own daughter, felt deeply for everyone involved.

While we prayed, my heart prepared for what I believed would happen, what I think everyone believed would happen. She was taken off of life support, and while her family stood by, waiting for the end, she opened her eyes. Yes, she started breathing on her own and began to speak. As her family prayed God moved.

Yes it would be easy to attribute this ‘miracle’ to medical means. Perhaps she wasn’t really brain dead, perhaps she was about to come out of the coma herself, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. I am not a medical professional, I am believer that miracles happen every day; in big and small ways. As I was contemplating what had just occurred and watched the tears, the emails and the text messages fly, I had one question in my heart…why?

Why was this woman worthy of miraculous intervention and my own innocent 13-year old daughter, not? Why did I have to sit and listen to her heart slowly stop beating when taken off life support and not her voice saying “mom I love you”? In the midst of my emotional struggle I remembered something very important.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

First, as my creator, God does not owe me an explanation. Second, I can’t begin to understand all that is the universe and the plans that He has made for each of us. Plans He made long before each of us was born, plans to grow and perfect us, plans to bring us closer to Him and to bring Him glory.

I remember, years ago after Alex had passed, when we were going through the process to be licensed as foster parents. It was a rigorous process (as it should be) and one night after our class, I prayed. I asked God that whatever His plan was for our family that He would make it so out of our comfort zone that we would know it was His will. Never in a million years would Chris or I have imagined we would, in just two short years, adopt not one but three children.

Our daughter Alex had serious health issues, outside of her liver transplant there was significant cognitive challenges brought about through years of progressive brain damage. She would have lived with us for the rest of our lives, which we knew and embraced. However, we would probably never have considered adding to our family by adopting. Would I chose them over her, or her over them…no, I could never make that decision. His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways not my ways. He can see the whole picture from the beginning of time through to the end. He can design that which I cannot begin to comprehend.

He doesn’t owe me an explanation, because chances are I wouldn’t understand it any way. And you know what, I’m OK with that. The God and creator of the whole universe has my best interest at heart. He wants only the best for me, as attested in scripture by his promises and experienced in my every day life.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jeremiah 29:11

Time after time God has shown His love for me; He provides, saves, redeems and restores. Jesus forgives, defends, and heals. I have never been given occasion to doubt or question, although I still do, usually when I don’t get my way.

If you have ever struggled with the question of why; why me or why not me, don’t despair. This is a question we all meet at some point. The answer is both easy and terribly hard. We don’t need to know why, we need to trust that God, the creator and designer of everything has a plan, and nothing, nothing can keep Gods plans from being fulfilled.

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.” Isaiah 55:10-13

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Threading the needle

Matthew 6“Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:24-25

I have often struggled with the thought that Jesus made something of a blanket statement about the wealthy, almost as if being blessed with wealth precludes you from going to heaven. One simple statement sums it up, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Growing up I did not ‘have’ a lot. We had a home and food and clothes and love and support, which to me made us rich. I never thought of us being a ‘have not’ until high school when I was exposed to those who had a whole lot more. They had more toys, ‘better’ clothes, nicer homes, fancier cars and money to pretty much do what they wanted, and they did…exactly what they wanted.

I was part of a graduating class of 162 students. From that class came the largest amount of college scholarships the school had ever seen. Want to know how many graduated from college? No you really don’t, it would make you sad. My graduating class was fraught with drugs, alcohol, divorce, divorce and more divorce, abuse, jail and suicide. The ‘haves’ did what they wanted to do. They had so much; potential, resources, optimism and support, but they weren’t happy. So they turned to what they thought would make them happy, which only made matters worse.

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10

I love telling my children about how I grew up. About our wood burning stove and how my dad got up at 4am to get it going so the house was warm when we got up. About the garden where we grew our own veggies (No a spaghetti squash does NOT taste like spaghetti and yes I could tell the difference!) and swimming in the creek behind our house. I love telling the stories of the Christmas where we each, me and my two brothers got a hand made afghan that my mom had made her self, working on them at night after we went to sleep.

One day my oldest son, Nik commented, “it seems like even though you didn’t have a lot growing up that you had a great childhood.” He was right, I did. We didn’t focus on what we didn’t have, we enjoyed and cherished what we did, which made me so much more appreciative of what I have now.

The book of Matthew is full of so many wonderful truths, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

In Matthew Jesus isn’t making a statement about those who have money but those who cherish it above all else.

“And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Matthew 19:16-22

“…he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” His possessions (money) meant more to him than the poor, the widow and orphans. His money was more important to him than Jesus.

Being blessed with a good job, and resources is not a sin. Holding those above Christ and those Christ brings to you, is. He blesses us to bless others. As long as we keep money in it’s proper place (it ALL belongs to Him) and are obedient to His calling on our lives, whatever that may be, there is an eternity waiting for us by His side.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

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